Filed under: Faith
This is a tough subject for me to write about because I struggle with it. And when I struggle at something…well I just end up not knowing what to say. But I’m going to try and put myself out there a little bit.
I want to start by saying that I love my family and they are first and foremost the biggest influence in my life. But they can only guide me so far. At some point I need to go my own way and other things in my life have to help me do so.
Mom and Dad’s life is very rooted in their strong faith, and ever since my brother moved to North Carolina and married a southern girl, well he has also found faith as a big part of his life. I want to try and keep the word “faith” going throughout this because I don’t want to turn people off. Faith as I understand it from various dictionaries is this,
“Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.”
I think it is safe to say that regardless of whether or not you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, etc., you can relate to that definition…no?
Anyway back to what I was saying. So as I said, most of the influence in my life comes from my family and then comes my friends. But one of the more important influences in my life is music. Music is great because if your life is an open theater, it is allowed to take whatever seat it pleases. For some its to dance, for others to cry, for others to play, for others to just listen, and the list goes on. I think I share a lot of my friends love of music as consuming just about every part of my life. If I could have headphones implanted in my ears I would. I take the long way home in the car just to listen to music.
So a couple years ago Dan a.k.a. Danny Tanner suggested I listen to a band named UnderOATH. My first reaction at the time was “Ew. Screamo? Never.” But as you should know by now, I wasn’t about to not give something a chance. So I did. Turns out I really loved it. I think I was drawn to the music more than the vocals but that’s just cause I never listened to anything with screaming in it. I think the closet thing I came to screamo was Pearl Jam’s “Not For You.” Look it up. Long story short, I love UnderOath.
But as most of UnderOath’s listeners seem to take away a greater message from them (if you live under a rock, they are a Christian band). But for me… I just don’t get that from them. I think their message of Faith is just really hard to digest. It’s very based on a belief that is already there and strong. It doesn’t speak to a person who is unsure of his/her faith. It doesn’t speak to the person that questions God. And let’s be real… thats the majority of people these days…at least that I know. But UnderOath opened up some big doors for me. I wasn’t afraid to listen to music that had a greater message then politics or broken hearts. I wasn’t afraid because I knew it could come in forms of music that I can actually listen to and enjoy.
With the help of a new direction of music that Dan got me in, I came to As Cities Burn. It’s another band that Dan burned a CD of for me. This is easily one of my favorite bands. Another band that I started listening to as recommended by another good friend CJ, is The Manchester Orchestra.
Now if you ask As Cities Burn if they are a Christian band or not, most likely they will say they are a Christian band, but if not, it doesn’t matter, you’ll see them at Cornerstone next year anyway. And as for Manchester Orchestra, well they aren’t going to say they are a Christian band. But Andy Hull will say that he grew up the son of a Priest and as a Catholic school student. Pretty much every song on their album is based on beliefs and faith. But where they differ in categorization, they are in the same that they can reach a broader audience with their faith based words.
Quick break… Am I ruining these bands for you? I’m not trying to shove the ol’ Religion thing down anyones throat. But you know, this is my blog, and if you’re reading this you’re my friend and well, you need to know certain things about me. I really wanted to put a smiley face here but I just don’t think it belongs on these things.
Ok we’re back.
What I’ve gained from listening to these bands is that Faith is not black or white. There are many gray areas to it and thats okay. As Cities Burn make you feel like even if you are rooted in faith, you may make plenty of mistakes and nothing you believe will seem right all the time. Andy Hull (TMO) takes a direction that makes you feel okay to not feel like a believer yet. To say to yourself, “have I made my own decision about this yet?” I think anyone can relate to these things. Then again, if you just want to say they are just good songs, who cares about Christian or not, then that’s fine too. That’s the beautiful thing about music.
Sometimes I feel like I right blogs like Alton Brown narrates “Good Eats.” Is that fair to say?
I’m wrapping this up. Out of all of this, I’m puting God in a new place in my life. I’m not ready to go to Church, I’m not ready to kneel down and pray every night before bed. But I’m growing. I’m not religious. I have not read the Bible and I don’t have any plans to do so right now. I still swear, I still drink, I still sin sometimes. But I do my best to be an honest, caring person. And I believe in God. I look around and there are things in my life that just don’t feel possible without Him. I talk to my grandparents who have passed, and I know they are with me. I know there is someone looking after me.
And with music and those bands that speak to me, I know that it’s ok to question and feel as though I’m not “there” yet. I even know that it’s ok if I’m never “there.” Its also ok that I have no idea what “there” is.
My dad made a good point today. Forget about whether there is something after death, forget if you believe in God or not. Lead a good life. Lead a positive life. That should be on everyone’s mind.
Thank you for letting me open up another part of my life that you probably didn’t even know about me.
With the utmost of sincerity,
Bryman.
Currently Listening to:
Ryan Adams – “Down In A Hole” (Alice in Chains cover)
Filed under: Politics
I’m a bit of a nightowl. I don’t know what it is but I feel extremely comfortable staying up until 5:00 am even if I’m just sitting at my computer. What do I do all night, you ask? Well anything from watching a movie online, to watching trailers on apple.com, working on graphics, writing music or just listening to music. But that is usually only a small portion of my late night/early morning schedule. As soon as I feel like I have exhausted my time at the computer, it’s time for bed. But not bed in terms of sleep…what I mean is it’s time to watch a whole lot of T.V.
For as long as I’ve been home in New York (I did not have T.V. in my room in Watertown, MA) I’ve been stuck watching early morning MTV. After a certain time, infomercials pop up on Comedy Central, E!, Spike, Food Network, Discovery, TLC, and most of the other stations I watch. So the only thing really on is MTV, and at this hour it is usually “The X-Effect.” I don’t need to get into what this show is about… it’s not worth it.
But lately things have been much different. I got a job and haven’t been able to stay up late. In the short time that I’ve had the job, the break seemed to have turned me to politics. It wasn’t having a Job that did this. I had been involved in the Election for longer than I’ve had a job, but something sparked a more drastic involvement.
Last election, as you all know, was a time where more and more Americans were trying to get rid of Bush. However that election seemed to have come a little bit too early. I don’t think enough of America was angry enough at Bush. It was my first election to vote in and I have to admit I voted for only a few reasons. The people I looked up to, such as my brother and celebrities like Ed Vedder, were obviously in support of John Kerry. The reason being as most said “anybody but Bush.” So I thought, hmm ok, I don’t like Bush either, I’ll jump on the bandwagon and vote Kerry. So I did, but with no knowledge of the man or his stance on any important issues.
Next comes the current Election. I was just like a lot of my friends are. I had little to no interest in politics. Sure I knew it is important in my life, being a young adult about to be faced with all the issues that are present in politics. But it seemed so hard to be a part of. Everywhere you go to learn about it is plagued with a bias. And all too often you hear “well my vote doesn’t count so why should I care?”
So because I wasn’t ready to get involved, but still knew I was surely a democrat, I decided I would vote in this election. But who for? Well I said it doesn’t matter really between Hillary and Obama, anything but a Republican. But since I know the Clinton name, I think I’ll go with Hillary.
Well that just isn’t right. That’s not fair to any candidate running. Something then prompted me to give Obama a chance. So what I did was I went on YouTube and caught some Speeches and some Debates.
Stop.
I’m not going to go into why I voted for Obama in the Primaries, and I’m not going to go into why I’m behind him. That is not the point of this blog.
Game on.
What I found was Barrack Obama. What he did for me was change the way I view politics. He made me feel comfortable to dive right in and feel like I can finally take a “position” that is my own. Not my brothers, not a celebrities, mine. Whatever it was, I made a connection. I started thinking more. I realized that politics is a part of my life. I never really thought so, but it is. It’s a part of all of our lives. Every single American is affected by these issues.
Since then, I have been watching the news everyday. I know what news channels have what biases. But I will watch them all. It’s important to hear the views of those you disagree with. But regardless, I feel proud that I know what is going on in this Presidential Race. I feel proud that have taken a position and I have casted a vote and WILL cast a vote that I am 100% behind.
So, if you are a young person. Realize that this stuff is very much a part of your life. And if you think it isn’t now, it will definitely be in the future. Take it from me, someone who used to not care to get involved… it is not as hard as it seems. You just need to find someone to get the ball rolling. For me it was Barrack Obama. For you it could be John McCain, or Hillary Clinton… or even someone not in the race. Take five minutes and check out a debate. I think those are the most helpful. These times are trying. There are big problems that need to be fixed. An educated America is an improved America.
A beautiful and smart friend of mine that (for now) would like to remain unnamed emailed me the other day and I wanted to just quote a part of her last paragraph because it is so true.
“I guess in the end Americans aren’t so much stupid as they are uninterested. I hear so many people say they don’t understand politics, or that it doesn’t interest them. Hello people! Do you have student loans? Do you pay up the ass for dental and medical care? Pissed that gas will be approaching four dollars (four fucking dollars!!)? Some asshole broke into your car and stole your stereo? Wonder if that social security money they take from your check will still be there in 50 years? Then congratulations you just became interested in politics. It does affect you. So wake the fuck up and pay attention! Watch the news and get pissed off, and then get off your ass, walk out your door, and do something about it!”
So, to end this, I would just like to say that now that I have quit my job (more on that to come soon), I am back to staying up til’ 5:00 am… however instead of watching MTV’s The X-Effect, I am watching the election coverage on the news. Never thought that would ever happen, but I can consider myself a changed person.
Oh and one more thing…
I read 42 pages of a book today. For those of you who know me very well… That is honestly the first 42 pages of a book I have read in probably 3 years.
Cross your fingers with me, maybe I’ll actually finish it.
Filed under: Music
I just got a full listen to “I Will Possess Your Heart,” Death Cab for Cutie’s first single off their upcoming album “Narrow Stairs.”
Before I go into what I have to say about it, I want to share some opinions on Death Cab for Cutie. Although not with them from the very beginning, I am happy to know that I was one of the lucky to get to know their music before their mainstream success. This is important to most music listeners…because in a way mainstream success has been known to be a turn-off and in some cases even the end of a band’s career as a credible act. However, I feel like Death Cab will never be a bandwagon just for people to jump on. There is something really sincere in their music that makes a lot of their fans seem to really appreciate the growth of success they’ve had. I guess at first, when Plans came out, there might have been some worry (I admit I never did buy it, got it from a friend almost 2 years after it came out). But after listening to the album it’s hard to worry about anything.
Ben Gibbard is one of the only songwriter’s that has ever taken a topic that I have no relation to at all and make me want to feel that pain myself. If only to make a greater connection to the song. The song I’m talking about is “What Sarah Said.” For those who don’t know, a friend of the bands (named Sarah) told them of her realization that in 50 years she would have to watch her husband die. Pretty sad song. There are two lines in the song that make me have these feelings I have.
“But I knew that you were a truth
I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all”
To me that is a perfect painting of love. The lyric alone makes me want to feel that. And who really wants to lose a loved one? No one. Thank you Ben Gibbard.
The next line is “so who’s gonna watch you die?” When I first heard this I took it as a question Ben Gibbard is asking his listeners… Almost asking “who is going to love you?” But just recently I have seen another interpretation of it that I think moves me a little more. That the narrator of the song is the person dying, and as he is dying, he is asking is wife “who’s going to watch you die” now that I am gone. It’s easy to connect with this song. Everyone has lost someone they have loved. Even if you haven’t, you can feel the pain in this song, you can feel the emotion. You can cry when you hear these lyrics. And for me, as horrible as it seems, this is one of the only songs that has ever made me want more of a connection. And although I pray that I will never have a deeper connection to this song, I know I will someday. So for now, I am happy to cry along with this song as a beautiful piece of art, and not need it to get through a loss.
Thank you for letting me go off on a tangent and share that. I’ve been wanting to say that for a while.
Now back to their new single. The song starts off exactly like it very well might have been written. It feels like they just recorded themselves jamming. Start with a bass line then add a drum groove, some ambient guitar. You almost feel like you’re just sitting in a rehearsal room with them. And as you sit here listening to about 5 minutes of this motif repeated, building, you can’t help but notice a few things that comfort you. Number one, there is always a good piano hook in a Death Cab song. If not a piano hook, then a guitar hook. But something in the instrumentation always grabs you and you feel at home with a Death Cab for Cutie song. But if that is not enough, if you are still in disbelief. Could they possibly be jamming instrumentally for the first 5 minutes of their first single? Yes, they are. And if you’re anything like me, you’re so confident in Ben Gibbards voice that you can relax… You know this music is building to his voice which is going to be soft, melodic and conscious. The lyrics are simple but smart, and speak so loudly. Take it in ANY way you want to, time changes everything.
Ben Gibbard has never disappointed me.
Please listen to this song.
Filed under: Politics
Does the average American person get enough credit? I feel like the media thinks all of America is stupid or something.
Ok look, I’m not trying to bring George Bush into this… Some people might say we were stupid enough to vote him into office twice, others may say Al Gore had won and there was shady business going on. Whatever. That is in the past and whatever the circumstances were, I don’t think America is as stupid as a lot of people think.
Where am I going with this? Well this has to do with the recent controversies of campaign support for, first Clinton, and now Obama. In case you put an extreme amount of effort into avoiding the news, let me just break it down in real short form for you… Geraldine Ferraro said something to the effect of Obama only being where he is because he is black and if he were a woman or a white male he wouldn’t be. Also, Obama’s Pastor of 20 years had some sermons brought to the public that weren’t very pleasing, nor were they good for Obama’s campaign. You should read more about that if you haven’t been paying attention.
So does the media think we’re stupid? I definitely can see both of these things swaying some people’s opinions of either candidate, but are we really thinking this is that big of a deal? In both of their defense, you can’t control who supports you and you can’t control their thoughts or actions. Do people not understand this?? I know its a little different with Obama because of how many years he has gone to that church and how much respect he has shown towards his Pastor. But seriously, there are things my parents believe in that I don’t agree with. And they are my parents!
I was watching a speech that Obama was giving the other day and he was in the middle of talking about some really important issues that I can’t even remember and I’ll tell you why. Because in the middle of him talking, whatever news channel I was watching cut away and said “this is just the usual Obama speech, we’ll bring you back to this if he has anything to say about his Pastor’s remarks.” Are you effing serious?! What do we not care about the issues that actually AFFECT each and every American? Do you think the struggling to make ends meet, having to send his first born to college next year, trying to find the lowest priced gas station, not able to get the healthcare he deserves, American dad gives a shit about what Obama’s Pastor thinks? Or old fart is racist but supports Clinton? Give me a break.
So they finally cut back to the speech to see Obama talk about the latest controversy and what does he say? I don’t even have to answer that one. If you think he said “my Pastor is absolutely right” then you are as stupid as the media thinks you are.
After he’s done talking about his Pastor, he takes a question from the audience. A young man asking him about his views on Energy. Hmm, with the gas prices at an all time high, wouldn’t you like to know where Obama stands on the issue of Energy? ME TOO! But noooo, it has nothing to do with his Pastor’s views on America or Ferraro’s affirmative action rants, so this news channel has no interest in keeping the speech on. Ohh I see now, we’re done with these stories, time for Dr. Drew to tell us what he thinks Silda Spitzer’s next move should be. I would have gone with “support her husband, forgive him, and act like nothing ever happened.” But thank God for Doctors…my life would be ass backwards without them…
Ok, I’m out.
Currently Listening to:
The Fugees – The Score
Filed under: Random
I quit my job today. More on this very soon. But for now I just want to say something.
I’m going to use the movie Face-off as an example but this happens in a ton of movies. When Nicolas Cage escapes from prison, he jumps into water. The cops automatically assume he’s dead. Why does this always happen? Where are movie cops (or anyone on the “hunter” side of a chase) getting their statistics from? It seems to me like the odds are in the favor of he/she who jumps into that water.
Ok expect some serious shit soon!
Filed under: Music
I need some responses and feedback to this one! I’m doing this for discussion, not just to get my thoughts out!
I was thinking back to what Bob Lefsetz said to me as a response to an email I sent him…you can see what I’m talking about in my first entry below. But just as a bit of review I was asking him why he thinks music isn’t leaving the same “mark” today as compared to yesterday. He didn’t respond with much but one thing that stuck out was this:
“Music doesn’t drive the culture!”
I took some time to think about this and I think I have formed somewhat of a response to it. First off, I agree with it. I think the culture is driving the music these days. I think with all the new developments in making music available to people, music has been riding the coattails of modern day technology. And this dates back to the invention of the music video and more importantly MTV.
Before you jump down my throat, let me explain something. When the music video was invented, put onto MTV, put into the houses of most of America, it became a new way for bands to do things, but it was still the music that was in control. Sure a lot of artists began making videos to jump on the bandwagon but it was in its beginning stages. It was a really hip way of getting your music out there, and it wasn’t easy. Bands couldn’t make their own videos so they had to hire professionals, they had to put time and money into these things (although a lot of them were pretty cheap looking). So because it wasn’t an easy thing to do, it was still just a “plus” for a signed band. A “perk” if you will. You weren’t seeing videos of unsigned bands because MTV probably wouldn’t play them. And then the music video outlet grew rapidly.
It’s sad, but for me and pretty much all of my friends, we never got to be a part of music without videos. Bands were more of a mystery back then. Records were cool to own. Think about how significant Album art was then too. Sometimes it was your only way of seeing what a band looked like without going to a show. A lot of times you wouldn’t even get to see the band on the cover or inside the Jacket. Because of this, you were dying to go see a live show. These records sounded amazing and you needed to see who was behind them, you needed to be a part of this “scene,” this “culture.” I think I saw an interview with Jack Black once where he said something to the effect of “nobody knew what Pink Floyd looked like!”
Here comes the “don’t get me wrong” part.
I don’t hate videos. Believe me, I love seeing who is writing the music I listen to. Although I’m more of a “live” video kind of guy, I’m also not saying I’m against official videos. And I’m not placing all of the blame for this “culture” discussion on videos.
So now we are in the “present tense.” And music is available whereever you want it. It’s in video games, it’s in TV shows, commercials, everything. You couldn’t not know what a musician looks like if you tried. With Myspace and youTube, you have video and photos available and the sky is the limit!
Put aside the “video” thing for a little bit.
Now-a-days you can hear of an artist and have all of their albums in 3 hours time. No artwork, no CD label, just the songs. It’s way too easy! It’s funny when my friend Eric and I were in college and had just gotten Itunes and discovered “getTunes,” we were filling up our hard drives with songs. Then we’d be checking out each others playlists and a song would come on he and would say “what is this?” “It’s on your playlist dude…” It happened to me too. I’m sure it’s happened to you. It’s because music is so “accessible” that we have way too much of it then we can possibly fully appreciate.
So because of this, the “culture” is now digital. Any band can record any song and put it on any website for digital download. Any band can get a digital camera, or a digital video camera and have promos and movies up on 10 different, easily accessible websites. So because of this ease, music seems like its hitching a ride. The digital world driving the music.
So where is the excitement of going to the record store on Tuesday and picking up the latest Album of your favorite band? Where is the excitement of going to see your favorite band play because it’s the only other way you’ll hear from them other than their record? Sure going to shows is still exciting, but you don’t necessarily have to go to a live show. You can go on youTube and see how the band is live before spending the bucks, or making the trip.
This is why being a Pearl Jam fan was such a rush. Because they were barely on MTV, their website was a piece of shit for many years, and youTube wasn’t around. I saw Pearl Jam 12 times on one tour (and thats probably less than half of the amount my cousin saw that same tour). It was one of the coolest times in my life. Rolling up to Jones Beach or Penn State College, walking passed all the tailgaters in the parking lot (blasting PJ), waiting online to get in and see how close your seat is. Talking to people on line, discussing what other shows you saw them on this tour. Pick up a Tour Poster on the way out because they make a new poster for every show on tour. Talk about being a part of something. Of course things are a bit different now, they are trying to adapt to the changes just like everyone else.
I’m gonna try and wrap this up now. I know I may seem a little redundant with certain things I say but I like to think of it more as “re-hashing.”
So, as to not try and live in the past, because that never works, we need to adapt. But how do we get the music back to that driving that “culture?” Remember, we like what the internet and digital world is doing for the indie musician, and taking that away would only be trying to live in the past.
Any ideas?
Currently Listening to:
Making the Band 4 on TV
I just have a couple of quick things on my mind, not enough for a full entry…
1. “Experience” doesn’t have the slightest thing to do with “change.” It was inexperience that built this Government in the first place.
Also, Rocky Balboa was considered inexperienced.
Ok, politcal things aside. My issue right now is with “Pink.” The singer.
I struggle a lot with the fact that no matter how much I have my heart invested in music, somebody is going to think what I’m doing is fake or contrived. So with that, it makes it harder for me when I feel that way about someone else, because I have no idea how they really feel… Just because something sounds contrived, doesn’t mean it is.
I also think that talking negatively about other musicians is going backwards in confidence in yourself. Let me explain. A few years ago I attended a clinic with Livingston Taylor, Berklee teacher and brother to James. He was known for teaching a “stage performance” class. Sounds silly, but although I never took it, it was one of the most popular classes at Berklee. Not so much to learn how to look or present yourself on stage. But just an insight into a musicians true home. One of the safest places for a musician to be. A place where many like me can’t help but drop out everything else in their life completely for an entire set time. I’m veering off course, sort of.
At this clinic, Livingston explained how important an audience and/or listener is. He talked about being off stage and criticizing other performers. How much we cut each other down all the time. We put respect aside and judge our fellow musicians. And then when we get up on stage, we are plagued with thoughts of that happening to us. We know we do it so we know others are doing it to us. That can eat into our confidence. As much as you want to think you’ve got a handle on it…you’re confident…it still effects you…you’re out to win an audience. They’re not eating out of the palm of your hand, you’re eating out of theirs. And you know this.
So, he said to be positive. If you have to say something about another band, say “this breaks my heart.” That was a joke, but a memorable part of the clinic that me and my friend Eric always bring up. His point is.. don’t push your respect aside for judgment. Give people credit. You don’t have to like anything. You don’t have to listen to anything. But having a better attitude towards your fellow musicians will give you a better attitude on stage. And even though it won’t change the fact that there are still people cutting you down in the back of the venue, you truly don’t care anymore. You’re having way too much fun, you have way too much confidence.
Now that I’ve said that… I am over Pink. Not that I was ever under her. But her, along with countless other artists have been tolerable. She has a decent voice. Here is my gripe. Whoever is writing her songs, whether it be her or Linda Perry, I just don’t buy them. I feel like she’s got a good enough, unique enough voice to be singing about some real good shit…but she wastes her time making fun of other pop stars by singing mock songs or making mock videos, which make her just as bad as any of them. And her song “Dear Mr. President” is way too late, and frankly not powerful enough without a video of poor people in the background of her. This new(er) song that no one really knows if its her or Kelly Clarkson, playing the part of the independent, strong woman. Like, yeah, we get it. Guys go to clubs to get laid and you go to have fun and guys can go scratch. I just feel like Linda Perry writes really good songs for pop stars who only have their pop status to keep them going (Britney Spears specifically, her voice isn’t what made her famous). But just because Linda Perry is a cool Rocker 4 Non Blondes chick that Pink can hang out and drink beers with, doesn’t mean she needs to write Pink’s songs.
Point is… Pink needs to step it up. There’s way more music out there for her voice. She needs to stop singing about being different and start being different. She can do it.
Go Pink.
Haha. Can you tell I listen to radio on the way home from work?
Ok back to American Idol.
Currently Listening to:
JACK SHIT
